Millennials are the worst generation ever

Millennials are the worst. Also known as Generation Y (Gen Y), millennials are those little whelps born some time between the 80’s and the 00’s. They are said to be civic-minded narcissists who are addicted to technology. They are the salvation of humanity and its downfall. But that’s not why they are the worst generation ever. Millennials are awful not because they did anything wrong. Indeed, they’ve had very little time to do anything at all.

Millennials are the worst generation ever because of the massive body of literature written about them.

If I see another article about millennials (excluding this one), I promise I’m going to do something about it.1

This blog is designed with value in mind. Value for you, dear reader. Here are some examples of brilliant articles written about millennials. How they’ll save the world. How they’ll destroy the world. How they might do both. I’ve also included a one sentence summary of the article’s content so you don’t have to bother actually reading it. You’re welcome.

LinkedIn:  “I am a Millennial and I am addicted to Technology.”

“I’m a narcissist, but it’s so much easier to blame my age group.”

LinkedIn: “Are you a Millennial leader?”

“Here’s a list of common sense things a leader should do regardless of age.”

NPR: “Social Distrust Blooms Among Millennials, But Where Are Its Roots?”

“Young people have a lot of debt and not a lot of job opportunities, so they tend not to trust others. Go figure.”

WSJ: “Video: Millennial Women Still Face Career Hurdles”

“This attention grab is brought to you by PricewaterhouseCoopers.”

Bloomberg: “Millennials Shunning Malls Speeds Web Shopping Revolution”

“Reporter’s friend buys toothpaste online; isn’t that crazy!”

The Atlantic: “How to Win Millennials: Equality, Climate Change, and Gay Marriage”

“Young people are mostly liberal” – Mostly liberal publication

Huffington Post: “Huff Post: Millennials”

“We write enough nonsense about millennials to warrant an entire content category on our site.”

Real Talk:

  • There is of course value in talking about demographics as singular entities, but discussions about millennials have gotten ridiculous. Whenever I read an article about millennials (in spite of myself), I wonder who the hell the authors are talking about. Last I checked, I was born in 1988, which places me at the center of the millennial generation. After spending two hours staring into a mirror, I ask myself, am I really a narcissist?
  • What I find even more fascinating here is that the word “millennial” automatically makes an article click-bait. You want to get something upvoted in the comments section? Just compliment millennials for inheriting such a mess from the Boomers and Gen X.  You’ll find yourself with young people actually thanking you for acknowledging their plight. Maybe we are narcissists!
  • From a marketing perspective, good strategists tend to avoid broad discussions about millennials. Human behavior hasn’t changed that much in the past 20 years. We’re just focusing less on TVC’s and more on social media. This isn’t a problem if marketers remember than an idea sits at the core of any great activation. If anything, the shift to digital has placed the importance of great ideas in stark relief. After all, the branded nonsense you send out to the world is competing with cat pictures and guys getting kicked in the nuts. Bear this in mind. Your infographic about financial education suddenly seems less compelling by comparison.

One final point: the title of this article is click-bait. You clicked on it. Reflect on that for a moment. Did you come to this article to learn about millennials or to argue as one?

 

1 i.e. overreact and leave a comment with a lot of impotent rage and spelling mistakes

 

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